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| February 4 2002 Monday Stinking reported back about the condom. Apparently he musn't have tied it up properly because it came out empty and the talcum powder is still inside him. He said that he isn't feeling any ill effects and his farts smell lovely. Brain Damage told him he ought to eat talcum powder all the time because normally his farts smell bloody awful. I have put myself forward as a candidate for our school Mock Parliamentary Elections (fourth year). I will be representing the Adrian Mole Front (Stinking said it should be called The Adrian Mole Has Got Some Front, but he's just jealous). There are four other candidates. The two main parties are represented by Kevin Potts, New Labour, and Amanda Horrocks, Conservative, neither who have the remotest chance of winning. Kevin Potts has no chance because none of the Conservatives will vote for him because he's New Labour and none of the New Labour supporters will vote for him because he's a dead ringer for a young Tony Blair, and nobody in their right mind is ever going to vote for Tony Blair again after the way he's screwing up the country after the last time they voted for him. The Conservative,Amanda Horrocks, has no chance of winning because she won't let anybody feel her tits. The Green Party is represented by Emma Wilding. This must be some sort of joke because her father is a property developer, her mother brings her to school every day in a gas-guzzling Range Rover, and apart from her green wellingtons the only thing green about her is her snot when she has a cold and her nose runs. Finally the Fascist Party candidate is Wasim Younis, who amongst other things is a big disappointment to his parents. I can't see anything but a landslide victory for the Adrian Mole Front. |
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