January 18 2002
Friday
Went to see the Rabbi about being circumcised. As it was a delicate
subject I thought I'd
break the ice with the only Jewish joke I know. It's this. And Moses went
up into the mountains and God said to him, "Moses, I have some Commandments."
And Moses said "How much are they?" God said "They're free".
And Moses said "I'll take ten". The Rabbi laughed and said that
Moses should have taken
twenty, as the sinners of this world could certainly do with the
Eleventh to Twentieth Commandments as well as
the ten we have already,
and even that might not be enough. Then I asked him if he
would circumcise me.
He said
he didn't like to do it to boys of my age as the only other
time he'd done it the boy
had gone berserk and kicked
him in the testicles.
I assured him there was no way that
I'd kick him in the testicles, as he would be doing me a big favour.
Then he informed me that he could only do it to people of the Jewish faith.
I
asked him what I had to do to become Jewish, and he said suffer persecution for thousands of
years, and lots of other stuff. Apparently there's
a lot more to it than eating matzo balls
and not eating pork scratchings. For one thing, on the Day of Atonement
- Yom Kippur, you're
expected to spend
a whole
day fasting in the synagogue.
As I wake up ravenous every morning and sometimes have to get up in
the middle
of the night to raid the fridge I can't see me being able
spend all day starving myself, even if I have got a bigger dick to
take my mind off it, so I'm going to have to give it a lot of
thought before I
convert to Judaism from whatever I am at the moment.
Haven't wet the bed for a week.
|
