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| November 20 2001 Tuesday On my paper round this morning I delivered a few papers to the wrong houses. I sometimes do this to relieve the boredom. Sometimes I do it to get my own back. Like the time Mr Ramwell complained to the newsagent that the rain had wet his Sun because I hadn't pushed it fully through his letterbox. I put him the Times through for the next seven days, which was as bad for him as not leaving him any paper at all because I bet he can't spell words of more than five letters. Sometimes leaving the wrong paper can benefit somebody. RFor instance if I hadn't delivered the Daily Sport instead of The Independent to the vicarage the vicar would never have started taking it as well. When I found out he was doing this I knocked on his door and told him that there must be some mistake as I now had him down for a Daily Sport, but he said no, it wasn't a mistake, he'd read the Daily Sport that I had delivered by accident and found it much better than the Independent for football, and as he was a big fan of football he'd decided to take The Sport in future as well. He's a big fan of tits and bums too if you ask me, because the last time I looked in the Daily Sport there were two pages of football coverage and eighteen pages of tarts with next to bugger all on, so I don't know who the randy old sod thinks he's kidding. After all our efforts getting 'When I Were A Lad' just about perfect we're not having a Christmas Concert now - we're doing a bloody Shakespeare play instead! 'Mac sodding beth'! Naturally when we were informed of the change in plan we complained bitterly to the teacher, Mrs Oates, as we'd been looking forward to performing. She said there wasn't a problem, if we wanted to perform why not take part in 'Macbeth'? Why not kiss my arse! My father was in a foul mood when I got home from school. I asked my mother why and she said he'd had the result of the Mensa test he took under an assumed name and this time he was 87, four less than last time. He should have quit while he was ahead, if you ask me. |
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