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After pestering airline companies to death Terry Ravenscroft turns his attention to the food and drink business, targetting such household names as Heinz, Ryvita,Tesco and Cadbury's. From gripes about missing characters in a cartoon spaghetti dish, to recommendations for made-up recipes,to suggestions for slogans, Dear Customer Services is a freewheeling gag fest from start to finish.
The following is a small sample from the book
Mr T Ravenscroft
11 Linglands Rd
New Mills
STOCKPORT
Cheshire
SK14 3BL
The Jacob's Bakery Ltd
P.O.Box 1
Long Lane
Liverpool
L9 7BQ
Dear Jacob's Bakery
I am writing to you in my official capacity as secretary of the New Mills Invalids Club. This year marks the 25th anniversary
of the club, and we mean to celebrate the occasion in some style, whilst at the same time giving club funds a much needed
boost. To achieve this we intend to manufacture and sell to the general public a chocolate biscuit. We are confident that
we have the expertise to accomplish this as four of our members used to work for the local sweet and confectionery factory - in
fact it was because they worked at the local sweet and confectionery factory that they became invalids, having caught various
parts of their anatomy in the machinery, but that's another matter.
Here is where you come in. I have long been a fan of your Jacob's Club biscuits, as have many of my fellow members, and to this
end we would like to 'cash in' on your esteemed name by calling our biscuit a 'Jacob's Club Foot' biscuit. This would at once
inform the public that it is a quality product, and also that it supports invalids. Can I have you permission, please?
Yours faithfully
T Ravenscroft (Mr)
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