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Your ref 0335827A
Helen Reeves
H J Heinz Co Ltd
Hayes Park
Hayes
Middlesex
UB4 8AL
Dear Helen Reeves
Thankyou for your letter of 8th April.
It is nice to know that you take such care to ensure that your
products reach your customers in perfect condition. Unfortunately
I am having great difficulty in believing you.
The reason for this is your inexplicable reference
to 'Thomas The Tank'. I would respectfully point out to you that
Thomas is not a tank, but a tank engine. It seems to me that if
you at Heinz can't tell the difference between a tank and a
tank engine then there is not much chance of you being able to tell the
difference between Bertie The Bus and The Fat Controller,
and if this is the case you are going to have many more cans
lacking Fat Controllers. I just hope that I am not unfortunate
enough to serve up one of them to young Oscar,
or it will be kitchen wall cleaning time again! Which brings
me to the voucher for £2 that you enclosed, which I am returning
to you as I regard it as an insult. If this was meant to compensate
me for the time I spent cleaning my kitchen then it is totally
inadequate. Good Lord woman, it cost me almost that much in Flash
alone.
For the record, a tank is a large military vehicle, which runs
on tracks and has a big gun at the front. A tank engine is a
wheeled traction vehicle used on the railway to pull carriages.
Yours faithfully  |
