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Jackie Corriette
Mars Confectionary
Division of Mars UK Ltd
Slough
SL1 4JX
Dear Jackie Corriette
You took so long to reply to my letter of 25th March that in the meantime
impatience got the better of me and I deep-fried a Mars bar without
the advantage of a recipe. You will be pleased to learn that I
managed to fry the Mars Bar in batter without too much trouble,
but problems arose when I tried to eat it. My favoured way of
consuming your divine confection is to cut it up into bite-size
pieces, place the pieces on my wife's naked body, and then eat
them off her. (She does the same thing to me but she prefers
Rolo, for some reason). It was tricky to say the least, cutting
the hot gooey Mars bar into bite-size pieces, but even more tricky
trying to put them on my wife, the trouble being that they were
still quite hot. Consequently she had great difficulty keeping
still, and they kept slipping off. Several pieces ended up on
the bedroom floor and in the bedding, picking up fluff.
Consequently I ended up with only one fluff-free piece,
and even that was inedible, as by the time my wife could
stand it on her body it was cold. (The Mars Bar, not her body)
With the above in mind, should you ever bring out another recipe book
and you include deep-fried Mars Bars in it, I think you would be as
well to point out that one shouldn't attempt to eat it in this manner.
Yours faithfully  |
