FAMOUS HISTORICAL FAT BASTARDS
Sir Winston Leonard Spencer
Churchill KG OM CH TD FRS PC FB (Fat Bastard), 30th November 1874 – 24 January 1965) was a British politician known chiefly for his leadership of the United Kingdom duringWorld War II. Churchill was perhaps most famous
for his speech to the nation when the British populace faced the prospect of being overpowered by the forces of German leader Adolf Hitler, which included the stirring words, "We shall fight on the seas and
oceans, we shall fight on the beaches, we
shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall steal their meat pies, we shall never surrender the right to be Fat Bastards.”
Henry VIII (1491 – 1547) was King of England from 21 April 1509 until his death.
Henry was a significant figure in the history of the English monarchy. He is known chiefly for his political struggles with Rome, in particular the Pope's
reluctance to grant him a
pizza takeaway franchise, which would put him in sole charge of England's pizza distribution.These struggles ultimately led to the separation of the Church of England from papal authority, the Dissolution
of the Monasteries and the establishment of Pizza Express in England, with himself as the Supreme Head of the Church of England and chief pizza tester. |
 ARBUCKLE
Roscoe Conkling "Fatty" Arbuckle (1887 – 1933) was an American silent film comedian, director, and screenwriter. Starting at the Selig Polyscope Company he
eventually moved to Keystone Studios where he mentored Charlie Chaplin and discovered Buster Keaton and Bob Hope. In 1921 Arbuckle threw a party during
Labor Day weekend. Bit player Virginia Rappe became ill at the party and died days later. Arbuckle was accused of raping and accidentally killing her,
so not only was he a Fat Bastard he was a Fat Fucker too. [1] |
Elvis Aaron Presley (1935 – 1977), was an American Rock 'n' Roll singer, nicknamed 'Elvis the Pelvis' He had a twin brother named Enis, who, perhaps fortunately before a nickname was found for him,
died at birth. A cultural icon, Presley had unusually wide
success encompassing many genres including rock and roll and gospel, and an unusually wide arse from consuming gargantuan
quantities of junk food and ice cream.
His favourite food was peanut butter banana sandwiches, which it is rumoured he was eating when he died on the lavatory. It is claimed that he could eat as many as twenty of them at one shitting. |
Marlon Brando, Jr. (1924 – 2004) was an American actor. At the time of his death his body of work spanned over half a century and his body spanned
about 5 feet 10 inches tall
by about the same distance wide. His enormous appetite, which led to him becoming a Fat Bastard, didn't stop him from finding
a more exciting use for butter than to just
spread it thickly on toast, as demonstrated by him in the film Last Tango in Paris. The photo shows him in the role of The Godfather. It is rumoured that the in the scene in which one of the godfather's adversary's finds a horse's head in bed with him that it should have been a complete horse but Brando ate the rest of it. |
Daniel Lambert ( 1770 - 1809) was a man from Leicester in England, who became famous for his obesity.
Although anathletic youth and a keen sportsman who claimed to eat in moderation and avoid alcohol,
by 1804 his weight had reached 49 stone. So as well as being a Fat Bastard he was a bloody liar. He died during
a visit to Stamford for the races in 1809. The wall of the public house in which he was staying had to be
dismantled to remove his body. His weight at the time of his death was over 52 stones, his
height was 5 feet, 11 inches, and his waist measurement was 9 feet, 4 inches.
He is buried in St Martin's Church, Stamford and the next two villages.
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