Odds and Sods
This is a collection of
forty five comic sketches, advertisements, programmes, newspaper front pages,
itineraries, stories, poems, menus, maps, letters, puzzles, crosswords
etcetera. I originally wrote Dewpew Kitchens, Roadmap and Are You Capable of
Bestiality, for Mel Smith and Griff Rhys Jones for their 'Lavishly Tooled Smith
and Jones Coffee Table Book. A Sharp Intake of Breath, How Things Began -
Herbs, Gone with the Wind, Please, Waltzing Matilda, Cheap Med Holidays and Goldilocks
started life as sketches in my BBC radio series Star Terk Two. Never Say Not On
is based on a TV sketch I did for BBC Scotland's 'Naked Video'. Dalton Towers
is a real place - it just takes some finding. Seek it out, it's well worth a
visit. I take no responsibility for the McDonalds menu; it is exactly as I
found it in a dustbin marked 'pig swill. If you wish to take the Shakespeare
exam yourself e-mail me for the examination paper. The photograph on the front
page of Free Tights is one of me taken when I was aged 40. (The picture of me
in About the Author was taken when I was 25. If you want to know what I look
like now, at age 67, hard luck) The correspondence in St Joseph's is based on a
true story. A Passage to India is not a real restaurant although it could very
well be.
Warning The Sun Brainbuster Crossword should on no account be
attempted by anyone with an IQ above 10. |
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